Tuesday, January 19, 2016

The Shift

                            There has to be a way...but, what is it ? Piya's mind was somewhere else while she was keying in the data her boss needed by lunch time. She had been busy, happy about the recent move she had made - getting a transfer to an entirely new place. New people to work with, to socialise...She liked her neighbours too. They kept to themselves and were not nosy like those where she came from.
                                  What she did was her business - why did the people have problem always with that, she always wondered. She remembered a guy saying in one of the workshops her company arranged every year, " People throw stones on trees laden with fruits. Have you seen anybody doing that on a tree that has only leaves or one brimming with heavenly flowers ?" Well said. Its always nice to hear such things. They sound good to the ears and for that moment the problem is solved. Period. Its when you resume your routine that stuff hits. She continued working, brushing the thoughts aside. After a few minutes she stopped. She took out a piece of paper and pen from her purse. This's what she always did whenever her mind was in conflict. Write. Bring down everything that's fighting out high up there, on to the paper - black and white, to see, to read, to comprehend. Suddenly, not feeling comfortable, she stood up and went to the staff lounge. Ah ! such a respite. Her company allowed its employees to take breathers like this. She started writing the thoughts as it is.
                             Meera joined the old office in May. Good lord ! What a wave of glee she brought to the sombre environment. People didn't like her obviously because she was a storehouse of ideas which she shared freely, and some of which were being accepted by the management. Another story of the Management - Newbie affair. Will fizzle out soon, was what the people had eventually settled with. Not me. I was exactly like her, wasn't I ? Why, both of us hit it off. We shared so similar ideas and where we didn't, well brainstormed to the point of arguing on top of our voices. But would come to a terrific solution. It should have continued that way which it didn't. Shiraz had stepped in as a fresh recruit, fresh challenge. With the mind from the Mars, well, things changed and for the better. No complaints. His ideas matched mine, not hers, for heaven knows for what reasons. We would be working our hours, happy threesome many days, but some days, she just wouldn't be with us. Her ideas would sync with Karthik. Was she jealous about Shiraz and me ? Cummon, she knew I wasn't even involved with him. What is it then ? She knows I am good when it comes to conduct a Talk Show. Well she is great with the sets, creating that 'just right' ambience . I can never be imaginative  like her. Okay..that's it. No matter how yeasty she is, I am in the front, while she isn't. She can never be, with her kind of work. Now everything is crystal clear.
                An achiever, a dreamer, one who is doing something significant, wants to be recognised. Period. And that hadn't happened ever since Shiraz, my co-host had joined. So I did the right thing. Shifting to another location. I shall have my share of compliments, she will have hers. But there should be a way to co-exist, nothing affecting the camaraderie. Is Shifting the right way ? Well, that I shall find out.
                 

Monday, January 11, 2016

Comeback

                         Nitish had expressed innumerable times that he didn't like the parties she attended almost every Friday. Strange - she was a successful woman....(if success was measured by the degree to which one could juggle her career and home life, that is) she had listened to him and stopped attending.
                       She called her mother one day. " Mom, what is it with Men? I saw you listening to dad and see- now I am on your footsteps. Why is it that I think, I am the one responsible for a smooth running of the family ? At times I think may be because am buried deep under your " how to scale down yourself for the Family Harmony sacrificial advice". God ! I seem like referring to it like a Family Maintenance Manual. I have done enough referring and following. I haven't met my friends over the Friday parties for months. To their 'Why's' , well you know how I am, told them the truth, Nitish wasn't comfortable. They didn't need to be convinced. They understood the subtle power games of the regular Indian family set up. My friendship with them hasn't suffered, But - I have. There's a limit to which a woman can scale down. Right Mom ? Its the point where the woman as a dutiful wife is contented but the woman as an individual, as an entity is not. What do you do then ?  Well you have all the answers, don't you ? You accepted that limit in situations like that. You convinced yourself to be happy but I know right from my childhood you weren't. I don't want that. I want to be selfish. Yes, selfish. I do love my family and have done my share of giving up personal time, freedom and such. After making the key people in my life happy, there's this person I have to face at the end of the day - Me. I need to keep her happy too. I need to give up somethings to do that. I have decided. I shall attend this Friday party.