‘Bidadi Mane’ ( बिडदी मने ) is a term in Kannada which means a room where the bride’s maternal side gifts are arranged in a wedding, including kitchen essentials.
As a child when I attended weddings in Mysore and Bangalore, the ‘Bidadi Mane’ translated to a plethora of kitchen vessels viz. pressure cooker, aluminium ‘kadhai’, ‘tawa’ steel vessels of all sizes, cooking ladles and serving spoons, glasses, dinner and snack plates, cups etc.
It was no different in my wedding. Though I had never cooked the regular day to day meals at home, I had to make friends with my maternal and mil’s vessels in the kitchen. It was a nightmare to wash all those utensils when the maid went on leave.
Whenever we shifted homes, the only things I couldn’t part with, was the kitchen ‘bartan’. And then I would stare at the steel spread in bewilderment, thinking, what’s with cooking and eating three times a day! - which made it impossible to do away with those seemingly stupid vessels!!
Singapore: When we shifted to this fabulous city, I became an expert dishwasher, at least till I got a maid. Whenever we would have guests for meals, while the guests relaxed post meal, I would wash all the plates, spoons, cups, in a jiffy and stack, leaving the other big dishes to do the next morning as it was easier to tackle them, like problems , the next day morning.
And then, I lost my life partner. And I didn’t cook. Didn’t have to, for almost two years, as work consumed me and we stayed with my in-laws. When we shifted to a separate apartment, I arranged the aluminium cooker, kadhai, tawa, the non-stick family counterparts, the steel plates - full, half, quarter, the ladles of various shapes and sizes, the knives, the spoons, the glasses, the ‘vatis’ etc. in the kitchen drawers. And for once since he left, something felt normal. Peace.
I was perplexed that cooking for my family everyday had made these ‘bartan’ my mates. I couldn’t understand the connect between peace and the material - the humble ‘bartan’.
Was I attached to the ‘bartan’ or was it the process of cooking for family: taking them out for cooking, serving - washing them sparkling clean - drying and then re-arranging them that gave the calm? I don’t know, as I muse over the ‘Bartan and Peace’ - despite the annoying noise these vessels make while drying and arranging them.
