Numberless contact

Elen was upset. And when moods played truant, things 'seemed' impossible, she had found different ways to deal, a voracious reader that she was, she had started to put into practice what she read. And in one of those moments, she had connected to 'him'. Well, 'higher power', 'god' whatever one called, she had her own 'contact' whom she could access anytime of the day, anywhere.

She had started to think about 'life and death'. And she wondered at the silly reality that coming into the world, into the present life, was not 'her decision' ! And no matter wherever she reached or whatever she became, departing will not be her decision too. Well, she had read about so many people who had left the world on their own will, but she wasn't doing anything what they did, like renouncing the 'pleasures', 'the world' or something. In fact in her early years, she had been fascinated by the principles of 'Jainism', 'Buddhism' and the life of 'Siddharth' who became 'Buddha'. She had grown up listening to Biblical stories on the radio and the stories of Jesus and his principle of forgiveness always struck chord. She could easily get hurt seeing the sufferings and miseries of people, but she couldn't bring herself to do what Siddharth did ! Well, she had her own set of worries which she had learnt to pass on to the 'contact'.

And today when her thoughts were a bit haywire, she had her cell in her hand as she had just received a call. She wondered if she could call the 'contact' on her cell ! But then he didn't need any number did he? Then she thought if only she could get some sign of the 'presence' that gave her peace, what was that movie where Meg Ryan goes crazy about signs...'Sleepless in Seattle'. Well something like that. And there it was, the 'drone' buzzing besides here, hopping on the clothes line, common sense said 'run inside else you could get stung' but she held on,'Wait, what if this was a sign and there was this 'connect' thing' then it couldn't possibly hurt right?' And she stood on. The bee swooshed passed her in a moment out into the viridity, of course without hurting her! And once again calmness prevailed.

Numberless contact

Elen was upset. And when moods played truant, things 'seemed' impossible, she had found different ways to deal, a voracious reader that she was, she had started to put into practice what she read. And in one of those moments, she had connected to 'him'. Well, 'higher power', 'god' whatever one called, she had her own 'contact' whom she could access anytime of the day, anywhere.

She had started to think about 'life and death'. And she wondered at the silly reality that coming into the world, into the present life, was not 'her decision' ! And no matter wherever she reached or whatever she became, departing will not be her decision too. Well, she had read about so many people who had left the world on their own will, but she wasn't doing anything what they did, like renouncing the 'pleasures', 'the world' or something. In fact in her early years, she had been fascinated by the principles of 'Jainism', 'Buddhism' and the life of 'Siddharth' who became 'Buddha'. She had grown up listening to Biblical stories on the radio and the stories of Jesus and his principle of forgiveness always struck chord. She could easily get hurt seeing the sufferings and miseries of people, but she couldn't bring herself to do what Siddharth did ! Well, she had her own set of worries which she had learnt to pass on to the 'contact'.

And today when her thoughts were a bit haywire, she had her cell in her hand as she had just received a call. She wondered if she could call the 'contact' on her cell ! But then he didn't need any number did he? Then she thought if only she could get some sign of the 'presence' that gave her peace, what was that movie where Meg Ryan goes crazy about signs...'Sleepless in Seattle'. Well something like that. And there it was, the 'drone' buzzing besides here, hopping on the clothes line, common sense said 'run inside else you could get stung' but she held on,'Wait, what if this was a sign and there was this 'connect' thing' then it couldn't possibly hurt right?' And she stood on. The bee swooshed passed her in a moment out into the viridity, of course without hurting her! And once again calmness prevailed.

Marjawa...

Rhea sat mesmerized as the song 'Marjawa' from the flick 'Fashion' played with all the finer sound effects in the multiplex. How much life gets different when one watches events/people/scenes roll by on the big screen. Its was as if she was on the stage doing the catwalk. In reality though she couldn't possibly wear all those stuff. Why do they look so majestic on the screen..the dresses? And she couldn't bring herself to wear them in front of people who mattered to her. With strangers what the heck ? She could, well yes she could wear with quite a good deal of confidence. And the hills, trees, the lakes they look so enchanting on the screen too. Why couldn't life be the way its shown? Why should it be just for three hours ?

She was very fond of fashion shows and participated in her college. She remembered the first time she did the cat walk in her college. She had been on the top of the world when the crowd cheered and she looked very good in the outfit she wore. Well she would get herself into every dance and song event in the school and college annual days. That's what she liked most. Annual Days when everything else was put aside including studies and all the focus was on the performances and the preperations would be so colourful. The apprehension on the participant's faces combined with the expectancy of looking entirely different in the various dresses that was selected for them. How lovely her 6th std photograph looked though black and white, she in Radha's dress--all red and brocade with red bangles with gold interspersed, the golden thread bordered chunni on her head. Actually she was the 4th girl from the 1st in the group dance, when while practising, one of the teacher had remarked,'Who's that 4th girl? Bring her at the front. Her steps are good and the teacher had whispered into her colleague's ears, 'She looks beautiful too'. Wow! How many times one gets to hear that 'beautiful' word? She had been elated and it showed on her face in the photograph. Then there was the bhangda which she had enjoyed immensely. The beats on the congo were rhythmic and she would dance like she was in a trance. She used to envy the guys playing the instrument. The tabla and like players always impressed her and she was easily swayed by their finger taps. She had understood well when Sonali Jalota had married the tablist Roop kumar Rathod.

Why can't life be one full 'Annual Day'? She sighed watching the film once again. She remembered how much she had enjoyed watching 'Flashdance' with her best pals at one of her best friend's house. They had sumptuous lunch which aunty had prepared and sat on the couch, the three of them, pulling all the curtains creating the soft light effect in the hot afternoon, and the AC cooling the room, they watched and were thrown off by Irene Cara's 'What a feeling'. That's being in zone girl, she told herself. Kash she could get those moments back. Not that she hadn't those kinda moments now. She did but still... Coming back she started enjoying 'Kuch khaas hai...' My ! what a day ! I must watch this once again, she told herself. She was like that. She liked to re-do a lot many things that she liked. The movie over, she left the 'plex the songs humming at the back of her mind, came into the lobby and as usual mingled into the departing crowd. She didn't know about them, but she was on the ramp tapping to the beats of 'ye jalwa'...

Marjawa...

Rhea sat mesmerized as the song 'Marjawa' from the flick 'Fashion' played with all the finer sound effects in the multiplex. How much life gets different when one watches events/people/scenes roll by on the big screen. Its was as if she was on the stage doing the catwalk. In reality though she couldn't possibly wear all those stuff. Why do they look so majestic on the screen..the dresses? And she couldn't bring herself to wear them in front of people who mattered to her. With strangers what the heck ? She could, well yes she could wear with quite a good deal of confidence. And the hills, trees, the lakes they look so enchanting on the screen too. Why couldn't life be the way its shown? Why should it be just for three hours ?

She was very fond of fashion shows and participated in her college. She remembered the first time she did the cat walk in her college. She had been on the top of the world when the crowd cheered and she looked very good in the outfit she wore. Well she would get herself into every dance and song event in the school and college annual days. That's what she liked most. Annual Days when everything else was put aside including studies and all the focus was on the performances and the preperations would be so colourful. The apprehension on the participant's faces combined with the expectancy of looking entirely different in the various dresses that was selected for them. How lovely her 6th std photograph looked though black and white, she in Radha's dress--all red and brocade with red bangles with gold interspersed, the golden thread bordered chunni on her head. Actually she was the 4th girl from the 1st in the group dance, when while practising, one of the teacher had remarked,'Who's that 4th girl? Bring her at the front. Her steps are good and the teacher had whispered into her colleague's ears, 'She looks beautiful too'. Wow! How many times one gets to hear that 'beautiful' word? She had been elated and it showed on her face in the photograph. Then there was the bhangda which she had enjoyed immensely. The beats on the congo were rhythmic and she would dance like she was in a trance. She used to envy the guys playing the instrument. The tabla and like players always impressed her and she was easily swayed by their finger taps. She had understood well when Sonali Jalota had married the tablist Roop kumar Rathod.

Why can't life be one full 'Annual Day'? She sighed watching the film once again. She remembered how much she had enjoyed watching 'Flashdance' with her best pals at one of her best friend's house. They had sumptuous lunch which aunty had prepared and sat on the couch, the three of them, pulling all the curtains creating the soft light effect in the hot afternoon, and the AC cooling the room, they watched and were thrown off by Irene Cara's 'What a feeling'. That's being in zone girl, she told herself. Kash she could get those moments back. Not that she hadn't those kinda moments now. She did but still... Coming back she started enjoying 'Kuch khaas hai...' My ! what a day ! I must watch this once again, she told herself. She was like that. She liked to re-do a lot many things that she liked. The movie over, she left the 'plex the songs humming at the back of her mind, came into the lobby and as usual mingled into the departing crowd. She didn't know about them, but she was on the ramp tapping to the beats of 'ye jalwa'...

The Walk

The greens were tempting

the bouganvilleas hung low

with its paper thin pink petals reaching out

The psyche was content

yet something inside beckoned

'Go take a look'

the path was shamelessly muddy

strewn on it were little wildflowers

in myriad colours

the foliages abound

monsoon is around

the cuckoo never tires of crooning

its melody mingling with the spaces in the woods

which you feel like chasing...

fragrance of the wet earth

merges in the whiff of the misty air

the vault of heaven

loosens itself of murkiness

there... the drizzles

find their way

they are the masters of the day..

earth is a rich carpet

resplendent in her hues

no time to rue

Nature's extravagance

gives a feeling of abundance

I wonder would I feel the same

with a copious bank balance ??

The Walk

The greens were tempting

the bouganvilleas hung low

with its paper thin pink petals reaching out

The psyche was content

yet something inside beckoned

'Go take a look'

the path was shamelessly muddy

strewn on it were little wildflowers

in myriad colours

the foliages abound

monsoon is around

the cuckoo never tires of crooning

its melody mingling with the spaces in the woods

which you feel like chasing...

fragrance of the wet earth

merges in the whiff of the misty air

the vault of heaven

loosens itself of murkiness

there... the drizzles

find their way

they are the masters of the day..

earth is a rich carpet

resplendent in her hues

no time to rue

Nature's extravagance

gives a feeling of abundance

I wonder would I feel the same

with a copious bank balance ??

Housewife ?

As I was getting ready to go for the two hours training session I had to conduct, the cell rang and seeing Kate's number, I sighed. Comb in one hand, the toner in the other, I held the cell to my ears and asked, 'So paaji what's it that's bothering you now ?' And she rattled off. My !! Katie, my best pal from the college days...I still remember the day I saw her-tall, a bit fair but vivacious, talking cheerfully with the girls (mine was a girl's college) and I envied her. That was the phase of my life, I was emerging from my cocoon, not much of a people's person, the books held my fancy for the major hours of my day, I sometimes looked at awe at persons like katie, and a similar brother I had at home. The words had flashed in my mind, 'If you want people, then you have to go to them, they will not come to you'. Fine. I was beginning to change and as I sat on my bench, and looked at her, I muttered, 'I must have a best friend like her. In fact she could be my best friend'. Love at first sight ? My 'self' mocked at me. Till this day I can't remember how our friendship started but it blossomed beautifully and to this day it's as fresh as ever.

Katie rode bikes, drove car and wouldn't mind driving a truck either. To people she was a tomboy and to me she was an insecure girl who needed lots and lots of love and acceptance. Somewhere she felt she wasn't loved enough by her family and when she saw my mom hugging her every time she came to our house, she was totally sold out to us and she didn't feel like leaving us at times. I became her emotional anchor and she was the friend I had always dreamt of but had none in all my 13 years of schooling. A friend who matched all the criteria of friendship, the kind I expected. To me a friend was the ultimate word. I should be there for her/him whenever he/she needed me whatever the day/time, I didn't care none had matched this feeling till I met her. What had happened to Katie after marriage ? She had earned a good name as a teacher in a reputed school and all the high school teens were her fan. She had a girl and then the second kid happened. So ? Off late she had started slipping into self-pity state. Reason ? Though she was an M.Phil, people in her family looked down upon the 'teacher'. And I had told many times 'No one can hurt you without your consent'. Now she was being stuck with the 'housewife tag'. Hey ! No one can tag you without your consent either katie, I roared over the phone.

Recently one of my new acquaintance told me she was sick and tired of the question people asked 'What do you do?'. And she didn't want to say 'I am a house wife'. Why do people want to know what do you do ? To measure your financial status ? Is man defined only by what he does ? And what's this liner in the radio etc. 'Its sexy to be a housewife !!' Now this friend has lived past many years in Amsterdam and now runs her home. Home maker? In one of the training sessions that I attended, one lady co-coordinator said,'Do not use the term housewife, use homemaker.' Does that sound better ? Well as for me if I run my life the way I want to, I could say anything I wanted to like I am a day dreamer most of the time. Then if they ask 'What do you do for a living?' Well cummon Katie, you could say 'Hey ! That's taken care of by my husband so I do whatever I like, whatever I want to for 'My living''. You are an ocean dear, peep inside. Why do you need to define yourself to people ? You be o.k. with what you are, log apney aap jaag jayenge, samajh jayenge (people will understand on their own). Be happy with yourself, for godssake do something for yourself. Put yourself first at times. Be the golden girl you were when we met. Hmm! got to go I said and Katie hung up once again promising to do all that.