Swati entered the Narayanan household, a brand new Marathi Brahmn bride now married to Srihari, a Tamil Bramhin and her long time beau.
It was a picture perfect wedding at Pune with mixture of both side rituals but of course with little confusion here and there. Like for instance when the groom's side landed at the wedding premises, Laxmi and Narayan (Srihari's parents), were amused to see the board outside the hall. It read, 'Purandare weds Narayanan'. Hari (as Shrihari was called), almost choked wondering whether it was him or his dad getting married !
The formal welcome ceremony over with the girl's side garlanding the groom's side, the 'Barat' entered the wedding hall. For the uninitiated, Marathi and Tam Brams are simpletons unlike the status conscious North/West Indians aka Punjabi's or Marwadi's, Gujarati's and likes. Mr. Narayanan was impressed, for one that the hall (anteroom) and its adjoining rooms had light pastel colours and were spic and span adorned attractively with roses and the breath taking scented jasmines unlike certain choultries in the south. All he needed now was 'Kapi', a must in the Tamil weddings where how soon coffee was served to the groom's side was an indicator of how well the wedding had been arranged. No 'Kapi' was even remotely seen around. Nevertheless it was arranged from a nearby 'Madrasi' restaurant and the groom's parents were satisfied. They were shown their rooms which had neat mattresses on the floor with sparkling white bedsheets. They were confused. Tam Bram orthodox prinicples scoffed at the bed being laid from the morning, i.e. on the floor. One was supposed to leave all footwear outside the room, wash feet and then sit on the floor mats, not mattresses. Anyways when they had compromised to have a non -Tamilian daughter in law, somewhere they had to begin. So the mattresses were rolled and floor mats laid out.
Time for pre-wedding day dinner. Very simple was all that came into their minds. Just one sweet !! How can one relish a wedding feast with just one sweet ? Down South in Bangalore, one had 'Paysam', 'Mysore Pak', 'Chirotee' to name a few. They thought may be in Marathi weddings, they dole out sweets on the wedding day. All of them had good sleep that night on the mattresses unlike certain weddings in the South where one had to make do with floor mats and pillows.Wedding day some of the rituals were similar. But the Southies missed the regular tea/kapi being served continuously throughout the wedding day by men in 'white panche' worn around the waist. The breakfast was ok followed by a disappointing lunch. Only one sweet, something called 'Srikhand' ? Of course there was post lunch 'Ice-cream' with various toppings but...authentic Indian sweets, cummon they are the best. Whatever happened to the 'Puran poli's' that they had heard about a lot ? Well o.k. they might all be reserved for the reception. And reception was lavish to their joy. The hot gulab jamuns were just yummy. The seasonal 'gajar ka halwa' satisfied the palate big time.
Cut the story short, Swati, mentally prepared for the entirely different set up post marriage, started to settle in. Hari was the only Tamil friend she had, never having experienced Tamilians before. Well the language or the culture for that matter was the last thing on their minds when they dated. Wrong. She realised. She had not only married Hari but also the family and its rituals. She was lucky that his parents were broad minded and didn't force anything on her. She would see her in laws get up early in the morning, bathe and do puja the first thing. Various gods stared out of multi coloured photoframes that hung all around the walls of each room. What is with the Tamils she wondered ? Why do they need so many gods. Back home they had in the mandir few idols of prime gods like the Ganesha, Shiv etc. Ugh ! she didn't like the blue colour on the walls also. The house of her dreams was way beyond from where she had stepped into. Anyway Hari and herself would soon be leaving for Ahmedabad where he had a job.
She was shocked the next day to learn Hari had been re-located to Bangalore. 'Surprise wedding gift' said Hari to her. Well she had always liked Bangalore but contemplating living with 'Tamil in laws' at the beginning of her married life wasn't what she had in mind. She loved Hari's family though. So she got used to the daily 'thirpandi' (rangoli) which her MIL drew on the space in front of the house gate every morning at 6 am after sprinkling water on the cement. She couldn't imagine herself doing that day in and day out. She would soon be looking for job of course. Breakfast time and the MIL was taking out hot 'idlis' into a casserole. She asked Swati to pass on the 'tiffin plate' to Ravi her brother in law when she was thinking it was for her. She was famished. Back home 'aai' would make sure her daughter got to eat first. Well she reminded herself of her new status and she was supposed to serve wasn't she ? The next tiffin plate was handed over to her husband, then the father in law and then finally she got to eat. Nothing new..this, aai used to eat after she had served all but Swati had never given it a serious thought. Hmm ! she thought she'll outgrow all these silly things once life settled in. She woke up the next day to 'Suprabhatam' by MS. It was kind of pleasant only that it was a bit loud. She came out on the Patio to hear similar stuff in the surroundings. A morning jogger waved at her and she waved back and smiled. How little things brought smile to one's face, thought she as she returned to her bedroom to be confronted by her loving husband. She forgot all 'Tamil' stuff because the man she loved wasn't religion or culture or language. He was a good human being which was what mattered. Her in laws were also good human beings which was what mattered.
It was a picture perfect wedding at Pune with mixture of both side rituals but of course with little confusion here and there. Like for instance when the groom's side landed at the wedding premises, Laxmi and Narayan (Srihari's parents), were amused to see the board outside the hall. It read, 'Purandare weds Narayanan'. Hari (as Shrihari was called), almost choked wondering whether it was him or his dad getting married !
The formal welcome ceremony over with the girl's side garlanding the groom's side, the 'Barat' entered the wedding hall. For the uninitiated, Marathi and Tam Brams are simpletons unlike the status conscious North/West Indians aka Punjabi's or Marwadi's, Gujarati's and likes. Mr. Narayanan was impressed, for one that the hall (anteroom) and its adjoining rooms had light pastel colours and were spic and span adorned attractively with roses and the breath taking scented jasmines unlike certain choultries in the south. All he needed now was 'Kapi', a must in the Tamil weddings where how soon coffee was served to the groom's side was an indicator of how well the wedding had been arranged. No 'Kapi' was even remotely seen around. Nevertheless it was arranged from a nearby 'Madrasi' restaurant and the groom's parents were satisfied. They were shown their rooms which had neat mattresses on the floor with sparkling white bedsheets. They were confused. Tam Bram orthodox prinicples scoffed at the bed being laid from the morning, i.e. on the floor. One was supposed to leave all footwear outside the room, wash feet and then sit on the floor mats, not mattresses. Anyways when they had compromised to have a non -Tamilian daughter in law, somewhere they had to begin. So the mattresses were rolled and floor mats laid out.
Time for pre-wedding day dinner. Very simple was all that came into their minds. Just one sweet !! How can one relish a wedding feast with just one sweet ? Down South in Bangalore, one had 'Paysam', 'Mysore Pak', 'Chirotee' to name a few. They thought may be in Marathi weddings, they dole out sweets on the wedding day. All of them had good sleep that night on the mattresses unlike certain weddings in the South where one had to make do with floor mats and pillows.Wedding day some of the rituals were similar. But the Southies missed the regular tea/kapi being served continuously throughout the wedding day by men in 'white panche' worn around the waist. The breakfast was ok followed by a disappointing lunch. Only one sweet, something called 'Srikhand' ? Of course there was post lunch 'Ice-cream' with various toppings but...authentic Indian sweets, cummon they are the best. Whatever happened to the 'Puran poli's' that they had heard about a lot ? Well o.k. they might all be reserved for the reception. And reception was lavish to their joy. The hot gulab jamuns were just yummy. The seasonal 'gajar ka halwa' satisfied the palate big time.
Cut the story short, Swati, mentally prepared for the entirely different set up post marriage, started to settle in. Hari was the only Tamil friend she had, never having experienced Tamilians before. Well the language or the culture for that matter was the last thing on their minds when they dated. Wrong. She realised. She had not only married Hari but also the family and its rituals. She was lucky that his parents were broad minded and didn't force anything on her. She would see her in laws get up early in the morning, bathe and do puja the first thing. Various gods stared out of multi coloured photoframes that hung all around the walls of each room. What is with the Tamils she wondered ? Why do they need so many gods. Back home they had in the mandir few idols of prime gods like the Ganesha, Shiv etc. Ugh ! she didn't like the blue colour on the walls also. The house of her dreams was way beyond from where she had stepped into. Anyway Hari and herself would soon be leaving for Ahmedabad where he had a job.
She was shocked the next day to learn Hari had been re-located to Bangalore. 'Surprise wedding gift' said Hari to her. Well she had always liked Bangalore but contemplating living with 'Tamil in laws' at the beginning of her married life wasn't what she had in mind. She loved Hari's family though. So she got used to the daily 'thirpandi' (rangoli) which her MIL drew on the space in front of the house gate every morning at 6 am after sprinkling water on the cement. She couldn't imagine herself doing that day in and day out. She would soon be looking for job of course. Breakfast time and the MIL was taking out hot 'idlis' into a casserole. She asked Swati to pass on the 'tiffin plate' to Ravi her brother in law when she was thinking it was for her. She was famished. Back home 'aai' would make sure her daughter got to eat first. Well she reminded herself of her new status and she was supposed to serve wasn't she ? The next tiffin plate was handed over to her husband, then the father in law and then finally she got to eat. Nothing new..this, aai used to eat after she had served all but Swati had never given it a serious thought. Hmm ! she thought she'll outgrow all these silly things once life settled in. She woke up the next day to 'Suprabhatam' by MS. It was kind of pleasant only that it was a bit loud. She came out on the Patio to hear similar stuff in the surroundings. A morning jogger waved at her and she waved back and smiled. How little things brought smile to one's face, thought she as she returned to her bedroom to be confronted by her loving husband. She forgot all 'Tamil' stuff because the man she loved wasn't religion or culture or language. He was a good human being which was what mattered. Her in laws were also good human beings which was what mattered.
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