Time Lapse

                Well, the dictionary defines it as a photographic technique where frames of slow movements are recorded at intervals, over a period of time & which when shown at normal speed, makes the event appear faster.
                     Ditto thought Sarah, reminiscing her life over past few years. Sohaib was out for his Morning walk. She didn't join him everyday which annoyed him. He had learnt to go solo, gradually. She on the other hand enjoyed those moments of ' Me time' which she used have in plenty when Sohaib was working. She took her tab and started keying after staring at the mean thing for few seconds. Why couldn't pen & paper be the norm ? Why did things change so fast ?
                       I didn't have an aim as such while growing up. I lived the moment to the hilt. Movies, friends, good food & music formed the core of my purpose of life. I loved people. As part of a joint family, I was either serving some elderly or babysitting someone or accompanying cousins. Eventually I settled with Husband, kids & a home of my own. Things were same, only place & people had changed. Children formed my core of existence & I made sure I was there for them all the time. My boys grew up pretty fast, soon went on their own. Ya ya I know the 'empty nest' thing. Bitter truth. Well both sons settled with their own kids, what more should I ask for ?
                   Something doesn't feel right. Sohaib stays home 24/7. I am happy of course. But the platter seems empty. Once it was filled with friends, cousins, movies, outings then with kids & now ? They all connect through WhatsApp & Facebook. Its overwhelming @ times to meander through endless forwards & so called chats on personal level as well as group chats. My back & neck aches at times. While it's a delight to be connected at finger tips, it's somehow not fulfilling. What was that phrase again....All relationships exist in Mind ! The maxim does hold good literally now.
                          Neil has been calling us to stay with him. His Wife fortunately doesn't mind having two oldies as addition to the family. I have plenty of questions in mind - When Neil couldn't hold a thing, would keep dropping them or the many times he stumbled & fell down - I was there for him, my duty you see.  Now I tend to drop the knife I was cutting vegetables with, multiple times. It takes a whole three minutes for me to get up, stand & then walk. Sometimes I ask things repeatedly to clarify. Now my priority revolves around taking medicines & food on time. What I did as a Mom, now goes by the name of 'help for the elderly, an assistant'. Neil will assist me, no questions, but I am not going over to Neil's to stay. Time for him to visit us & reminisce his childhood instead.
                             

My Mother

             The first time her existence dawned on me was when I felt warm and loved every time she was around. Well you see I was the kind of kid who obeyed her to the dot. I was also very possessive & didn't  like the Family doctor who held her wrist to check pulse when she fell sick. I couldn't comprehend she could fall sick. She was an answer to all my needs wasn't she ? And she couldn't be for some of them when things like these happened. I thought there existed only one person in the world called 'Amma'.
             So when the kids around me called other women 'Mom', I would wonder why they did so. But I kept to myself and never questioned, being the Mom trained decent and obedient child I was. I was the center of her world till my Brother appeared. Man, this was too much to handle ! She would leave me with my Grandmother @ times so that she could care for him. I observed that the little freak not only needed my Amma's care but also the attention of everybody around him ! Utterly ridiculous. Well ok, I consoled myself because I found he hung upto me the most & I kind of liked it when he depended on me for silly things and......what a pleasure to own a live Toy ! Even better than the dolls !
               Amma thought the world of me, making me top throughout  the school years. She would tell, ' Don't let anybody stand first in class. You do that job.' So much so, I would look down upon someone who were not rankers. Then it was a complete one eighty degree turn as I grew up. I wanted space.....to read non stop and write my mind and heart out amongst the blues of the sky, the green of the Woods, stars at night and well just about everything. She couldn't fathom this sudden need of her li'l girl to pull off. On TOP of that, I didn't obey her at all and was a proper rebel. She would often ask me, ' Are you the same Daughter I gave birth to ?' Well, whatever she said, I still did my own thing. We both were at loggerheads every other day but I still needed her very much the same way as a toddler, though I never showed it. And this drove her nuts. She would try to teach me cooking and other household 'girl' jobs and I would never listen. All those regular household dialogues in the morning - ' What should be cooked today for breakfast, lunch and dinner?' drove me crazy. I completely shunned those conversations, I don't know why. Perhaps the ' Ranker image' my Mom created was strongly etched and I always saw myself as studying and making a career out of it, may be research later.
            Today, after many years she's come to visit me in my home and the tiff still continues. Only that now my Son enjoys my Mom scolding me, thoroughly. Amma has to have her perfect ways to run a house imposed on me but same - I don't listen. But she counts on me when she has that woman who need to pour put. I can't do the same with her anymore..... She needs me like I once did.