She found herself, with tons of hours...suddenly. Years had gone by in the daily commute, office, colleagues, the daily office banter, gossips, the 'chai sessions' and the salary..at the beginning of the month, only to get exhausted by the end of the month. But it had kept her on toes, hardly any time to think at all...which was good in a way as she thought now.
Since last year she had been thinking about bringing some change in her life. But hadn't been able to decide. It was difficult to leave the cosy known territory for an unknown one. She could have got a fat hike..another place, another job. But hey ! it sort of meant re-inventing herself once more, ....right from preparing the resume once again, answering the weird questions in the interview rounds. She thought, 'Why do I need to prove myself again and again and again ?' A voice answered: Yup. You don't need to do that at home and you don't get paid as well. Was there no way where you could do/prove and all that for a certain period of time and then the wicked but very much wanted money kept coming again and again even if you didn't feel like working. The monthly appraisals had started to bore her all of a sudden and questions hidden deep down had started raising their heads. It was time to introspect. She had decided and handed over the resignation letter. Her colleagues had been shocked. She had attained peace. Somehow the salary not coming next month didn't bother her much. That way she had ample to take care of the bare necessities.
She wanted to connect to herself. That had become the top priority now. Question was how ? She had found herself in many friendships she had made. But this time it had to be herself she wanted to be thorough with. Was the same with everyone around her, she found. Wasn't man sane enough to satisfy himself ? Why the need for quest ? For what ? O.k. for now the blue coloured little swallow like bird on the electic wire caught her attention. It hopped from one place on the wire to another. What was it thinking ? Strange...whatever happened to her, somehow she would think , same must be with everyone. She hated generalising. But she had found out she was no exceptional or for that matter neither people around her. Some whom she thought were different, turned out to be copies or somebody else she had met or heard before. Again why the need to be different ? May be god put that seed in all the germ cells before they united to form the Life that the human creature is born with..
She got up to breathe in the freshness of the grass under her feet and steal in the morning view that so captivated her. Questions could rest.
Good that u came back.
ReplyDeleteFor u and me its important that we put down the words that play in our mind. Comments, readership are secondary.
And also keeping on writing our writing gets some finesse isn't it