Appa

You held me in your arms for the first time
When I was 22 days, I was told.
Amma had her first little one
dressed up in pink, from head to toe.
You often told me about the Long rides on the bicycle  -
When you would carry me in one hand,
And ride with the other...
- Weekend visits to your Friend.
You said, your friends named me ‘touch me not’ -
all I did was howl and cry -
when you left me with them for a couple of hours !
Would quieten only when you held.
While I don’t remember all these, I do recollect -
Me getting angry with the family doctor visits,
When he held Amma’s wrist & looked at his watch -
My world would fall apart -
for, I couldn’t fathom anyone touching you or her - strange it may be.
Innumerable other things, never-to-come-again moments...
Now you lie alone, talking a little bit, glancing now & then,
Reaching for my hand, out of an unknown angst, looking at the ceiling -
And when I tell you ‘Appa you are hallucinating, that’s your medicine(s) -
You Laugh -
and give me that Million Dollar Smile.
You open & shut your eyes, rolling them on the side,
or upwards- looking at nothing.
I watch -
Memories of my month old baby son, flashing by...
He’s grown up now -
You take his place.
I sit, not wanting to leave your side, for -
you aren’t able to get up -
you cannot walk.
I want to be there when you wish to speak -
I cannot reach the realms of your mind...
Experts tell, it will take months, for you to get strength
to turn on your side or sit or stand
I don’t believe an ounce of it.
I remind you about your horse riding days,
the stories about hopping onto your steed -
without saddles,
scouring jungles of Bhadravati to look for Gauri - your favourite Mare.
Your Basketball days in Chennai & Bhilai.
Your brief stint in Kiev, Ukraine.
You listen & yes you remember.
You will be up Pa...
You will, I believe.