Housewife ?

As I was getting ready to go for the two hours training session I had to conduct, the cell rang and seeing Kate's number, I sighed. Comb in one hand, the toner in the other, I held the cell to my ears and asked, 'So paaji what's it that's bothering you now ?' And she rattled off. My !! Katie, my best pal from the college days...I still remember the day I saw her-tall, a bit fair but vivacious, talking cheerfully with the girls (mine was a girl's college) and I envied her. That was the phase of my life, I was emerging from my cocoon, not much of a people's person, the books held my fancy for the major hours of my day, I sometimes looked at awe at persons like katie, and a similar brother I had at home. The words had flashed in my mind, 'If you want people, then you have to go to them, they will not come to you'. Fine. I was beginning to change and as I sat on my bench, and looked at her, I muttered, 'I must have a best friend like her. In fact she could be my best friend'. Love at first sight ? My 'self' mocked at me. Till this day I can't remember how our friendship started but it blossomed beautifully and to this day it's as fresh as ever.

Katie rode bikes, drove car and wouldn't mind driving a truck either. To people she was a tomboy and to me she was an insecure girl who needed lots and lots of love and acceptance. Somewhere she felt she wasn't loved enough by her family and when she saw my mom hugging her every time she came to our house, she was totally sold out to us and she didn't feel like leaving us at times. I became her emotional anchor and she was the friend I had always dreamt of but had none in all my 13 years of schooling. A friend who matched all the criteria of friendship, the kind I expected. To me a friend was the ultimate word. I should be there for her/him whenever he/she needed me whatever the day/time, I didn't care none had matched this feeling till I met her. What had happened to Katie after marriage ? She had earned a good name as a teacher in a reputed school and all the high school teens were her fan. She had a girl and then the second kid happened. So ? Off late she had started slipping into self-pity state. Reason ? Though she was an M.Phil, people in her family looked down upon the 'teacher'. And I had told many times 'No one can hurt you without your consent'. Now she was being stuck with the 'housewife tag'. Hey ! No one can tag you without your consent either katie, I roared over the phone.

Recently one of my new acquaintance told me she was sick and tired of the question people asked 'What do you do?'. And she didn't want to say 'I am a house wife'. Why do people want to know what do you do ? To measure your financial status ? Is man defined only by what he does ? And what's this liner in the radio etc. 'Its sexy to be a housewife !!' Now this friend has lived past many years in Amsterdam and now runs her home. Home maker? In one of the training sessions that I attended, one lady co-coordinator said,'Do not use the term housewife, use homemaker.' Does that sound better ? Well as for me if I run my life the way I want to, I could say anything I wanted to like I am a day dreamer most of the time. Then if they ask 'What do you do for a living?' Well cummon Katie, you could say 'Hey ! That's taken care of by my husband so I do whatever I like, whatever I want to for 'My living''. You are an ocean dear, peep inside. Why do you need to define yourself to people ? You be o.k. with what you are, log apney aap jaag jayenge, samajh jayenge (people will understand on their own). Be happy with yourself, for godssake do something for yourself. Put yourself first at times. Be the golden girl you were when we met. Hmm! got to go I said and Katie hung up once again promising to do all that.