Thinking little as the philosopher said was just not my cup of tea but there was Shashank who I was going steady with which was o.k. but marriage ? No, my mind said. Why ? we could 'live in'. He wasn't ready. Knowing Shashank I knew the moment he turned 'husband', he wouldn't allow the same freedom he did now. So ? living together, would he ? Ugh ! questions and more questions. Why does life stop at questions at times ? And why is it that at times you want that there be no answers, let it go on as it is. That was what had been happening till he had said 'Lets get married'. And I had said I need to get away. From me ? He had quipped. Well not really him though, it was just that I wanted to be Me for sometime. But when had I ceased to be Me ? No, I had started thinking more for him and so some things that I did before I met him had just taken backseat maybe because I knew he wouldn't like it. Why doesn't one not do the things the mate doesn't like when one is in love ? Now why couldn't I do just that even though I didn't like it i.e. not get married ? He said its good for me. Its healthy. Well I didn't want to do the things that were good for me at times. Why was shashank being patronising ? Is not getting married akin to 'think little'? Why was that phrase haunting me ? Ah ! the grandeur of the desert curves...It matched my mood. I had become o.k. with ups and downs of my moods. Wonder why they call it moodswings, is it to and fro...up and down no its all around... Hey...you ! someone shouted. I turned around to see a huge fellow, looked like an Iranian or may be an Arab, whoever, was a brand advert head to toe. But I liked his voice. 'Mind if I sit here?' and please watch out, there are creatures coming out at dusk, one you missed just now which could have been dangerous'. The world was full of saviours I thought. I said the customary 'thank you' and proceeded with my thinking mode. Somehow the stranger didn't seem like intruding.
'Escaping ?' He said, lighting a smoke. What the... but looking at him made me answer 'yes'. 'Welcome home'. The dunes have all the answers !! There was this warmth in his tone and his facial gestures had all the right elements to connect, at a go. Not surprising, had met a few like them and we were great friends now. "What are you doing here?'' I asked. Having a good time lady ! Strange it felt really good to hear him say that, for once, there was someone who wasn't undergoing the Q and A session and such company right now was apt for the moment. We talked not bothering to ask each other's names or origins. The pronouns were enough and the 'human factor' sufficed. We got up after a while and walked towards the camp which was all set for barbecue, belle dancing and more. We departed having spent a good time promising to keep in touch. Had I got my answer? Well Shashank will have to be patient. This time I am going to do what I liked and he didn't, but by being by his side, not condescending though...
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