First lesson...contd

What was it with boys and alcohol, she had asked Ray and how he would always know about them? Like she would learn eventually about the 'MEN' species, he never answered certain questions and would get away with a mysterious smile which said,'Men's secret lady', which irritated her. Why did men behave like they knew everything around them ? Yup ! she agreed, given the protected environment she was brought up in, like other girls in Indian society, the worldly knowledge had to be limited. Somehow she wanted to try the forbidden part of her life. 

        Now he was in his 3rd year Engineering, not a topper but sharp, always the peacemaker in the group, would resolve conflicts, enjoyed novels, Western Music etc. She had heard, he had a girlfriend too. Somehow this knowledge made her feel light i.e. she would think 'Good. Affair ka jhanjhat nahee hoga (Don't have to get involved with him).'  So she found she could talk to him for hours and he always seemed interested. She didn't know that he was a great listener too. He just had to ask,'What's the matter Ann ?' And she would go on and on.

          The days they didn't meet, she felt vacant, as if something was missing. She had few friends and two best ones. With the two best friends, she was herself, their thoughts matched and what was interesting was there was little 'girl' talks. The three hung out together very often in the library or in the City centre after the college hours. Yes they did talk about the guys that interested them. The two waited everyday to hear her encounters with Ray. Well and the day Ray turned up, she would literally fight with him demanding an explanation. How naive she was, she didn't know. Unknown to herself she was getting involved with him. Then the inevitable happened. She moved to another city to join another course. Hostel life, a new beginning. He passed out his Engineering. They often had arguements over 'Love Marriages'. She didn't believe in them and he did strongly. Marriage somehow didn't interest her, and she thought focusing on career made sense. She had seen her parent's married life and that was o.k. but not worth investing whole life on. The 'miss him' factor remained though. Vassu, her best friend asked her to wait, not to reveal her feelings to him. He will speak out if he feels and can't keep to himself anymore, she said. And she obeyed. An opportunity to submit a paper for a thesis preceeding M.Phil program at Oxford appeared in the college bulletin. She started getting ready for that. She told Vassu, may be he is going steady with his girlfriend. Strange but she felt he was interested in her. It was then she asked one of her friends in the group they shared, who was older and experienced, was going steady with a boy, how can a girl know if a boy is interested in her, rather how can she be sure of it. And 'didi' said,'Look into his eyes. They will tell you.' Well she thought what was new? She had always looked into his eyes and talked and it made sense didn't it? How else does one talk, she pondered. He also looked at her umpteen times while talking and she hadn't found his gaze scrutinising like the other guys did ! Yeah ! It comes naturally to girls, distinguishing a dirty look from a decent one, a teasing look from a mean one. Back to the topic, she couldn't make head or tail of the 'eyes' factor. But yes she had felt some strange feeling that made her feel they were bound by an invisible force, between them when they stood together and talked, something which she felt they shared. What was it she had wanted to know but finding no answer, she just enjoyed it. It was like he knew it too as she did. Only they didn't talk about it. 

               Finally it happened. He told her he wanted to meet her alone to discuss something important. Meet they did. He told her he had never experienced like this before, had promised himself wouldn't get involved with a friend's sister because of something that had happened in the past. But he couldn't concentrate on anything he said and he found it impossible to go ahead in life without sorting this out. He wanted to marry her. She didn't want marriage. What's wrong if they were friends forever. He said there can never be a friendship between a boy and a girl and a long one at that. She believed in the opposite. She strongly believed a platonic relationship was possible. And she was bold enough to declare it to the world if needed. He didn't agree at all. Men, she thought, were difficult to convince. Again why did she feel he knew something more and he sounded right too. O. K. she said.