El O vee eee

That's better and one can't call this noble virtue which's part of Man's higher self, a four letter word ! Well have devoured some of Tagore's Gitanjali and others in search of its meaning though. Looking at the childhood album that dad and mom showed me proudly, talking about my birth, I got introduced to 'a feeling of belonging, a strong connection, a firm base to hold on to'. Then looking at my brother's cute chubby snap as a toddler made me feel proud that he belonged to me too ! Then cousins came along and there was 'a sense of togetherness/sharing secrets, we are all in it..ness'. It was scintillating, the hordes of stories we shared of our admirers and those whom we envied, the mental matches we made for ourselves whenever we met someone our age or beyond, all of course influenced mightily by reading regular doses of Mills and Boons. How gripping those moments would be ! The need of the age got a new colour everytime we read a new one. Then there was Linda Goodman's sun signs as an excuse to the behaviour we adopted. Each sun sign had its own romantic version. Having experienced Mills and Boons in real life, lived through the various shades of one's own idea of love. It doesn't stop there, does it ? Its like you are graduating in the various classes of the need to give and receive, hold or leave. Then there was this painful ousting of a new package from my own self who was a complete stranger to me when the nurse showed him, all wrapped up in white linen. She thought after the pain I had undergone for hours, the sight of him would be a panacea which was not the case. The thought that came to my mind was,'How big his lips are, definetely his dad's side genes and how tiny the eyes?' I didn't tell her though and smiled instead. There was a reason though for this initial detachment, the significant other, with the resposibility of running the family, hardly being present when this bundle was being prepared in vivo and conspicuously absent at the launch of the  joint venture, busy elsewhere in rolling out the first kilometers of optical fibre,  for strangers called Employers, unintentionally though. Then a cousin told that her infant smiled at her the first time after four months, when she was nursing. Had that in mind, and even though worked with the maternal instinct most of the time, with mom taking care of him and me both, connected with him really when he gave me a toothless three and a half month old baby smile when he was left wholly in my care after mom left. Nothing could match this love. Pure. Unconditional. To the extent that I was ready to do things for this tiny king which I wouldn't for anyone else including the real life hero I lived with.

To be continued...

Well back again.But it doesn't stop here either does it? The need to connect, to share etc. So then there were these women who like me wanted to reach out ! And there...what a great feeling it is to go unannounced to your friend who is very glad to feed you from the morning 'chai' till late dinner. Oh ! the world of talks ! I remember an uncle in the neighbourhood in Bhilai, when I went to meet his wife who was unwell, telling me 'Ab tum aa gayee ho beta, ye bilkul theek ho jaayengi, baat jo kar lengi tumse' (Now that you have come she has someone to talk to, she'll be perfectly fine). O.K. its dinner time. Wish I could be all alone somewhere in an island with the laptop ! To be continued.